Treating people right is the biggest dilemma that our generation is trying to resolve. Every step we take feels like a step backward.
The world we live in is full of people who continuously search for opportunities to take advantage of the other person. However, not everyone is the same. The same world consists of people who are true to the core and mean well for you.
Some numerous debates and theories try to highlight the best of treating a person. We will draw a comparison between two of the most common approaches; Golden rule and Platinum rule, to help you develop a better understanding of which one is the most effective.
The Origin of Maxim Golden Rule
The golden rule maxim dates back to the earliest periods of human history. It has been a foundation stone and a critical element in numerous religions and cultures. It is a lesson of righteousness and reciprocity that teaches one to treat others the same way they wish others will treat them.
Different research suggests different timings to be the actual origin of the maxim. According to some, it dates back to ancient Egypt. Whereas, others claim the narrations first came in the teachings of Leviticus.
It is a standard part of all of the Abrahamic religions, with Islam being the only one that enforces the rule as a religious obligation for every Muslim to follow.
The Golden Rule (treat others how YOU want to be treated) VS The Platinum Rule (treat others how THEY want to be treated)
As time moved one, the Golden rule became a topic of constant debate and drew criticism from numerous philosophers around the globe.
The Golden rule teaches us how to be empathetic and reciprocate someone’s actions towards us. However, according to philosophers, the maxim did not focus on situational requirements. It could lead someone towards irresponsible behavior if there was a difference in the interest and value of two parties.
This conflict gave birth to a new ideology known as the “Platinum Rule,” which teaches us about treating others according to their desire. It takes the Golden rule a step forward and focuses on the critical role that situations and preferences play in managing people.
It allows people to put themselves in the shoes of others and then make decisions according to how they would want to be treated. A typical example of the Platinum rule is ignoring prejudice against someone’s race or religion when you decide how you are going to act towards them. Instead, your actions are similar to how the other person would want them to be.
How to Figure Out the Best Way to Treat Others (10 Ways make “YOU” into “THEY”)
1. Practice empathy – We are often unable to understand the course of one’s action. There are times when these actions end up hurting us, whereas they were not even about us in the first place. We fail to see past those actions and ignore the importance of understanding one’s behavior.
By keeping the Golden rule in mind, we will enable us to look past a person’s actions and move toward understanding the distress they may be in. It will ultimately allow us to practice the Platinum Rule, and treating them the right way will not only help us diffuse the situation but also improve the other person.
2. Avoid pointing out other’s flaws – By pointing flaws and drawing comparisons, we make people walk on a path of insecurities and force them to adopt a negative outlook on life and society. It is one of the most common problems that people in the modern age are suffering from.
Bullying is a typical example of such a situation, and numerous incidents are reported daily. It has become a significant cause of suicide in children in their teens, as they are unable to find the will to cope-up and face the negativity that surrounds them.
If we switch sides and become the point of unnecessary focus, we will understand the pain that these actions cause. Considering and treating them as equal will not only allow them to feel the same way as you do but will teach them to overcome their flaws and focus on the positivity that life has to offer.
3. Avoid looking down on people – Not everyone is born with a golden spoon in their mouth. Even in such modern times, a considerable percentage of the world population lives under the poverty line.
While many of them work day and night to try and make their way to the top, some are in such a bad condition that they are not even capable of saving themselves. It is a way of life, and keeping a sane eye makes us look towards the actual reason why such people are unable to change their circumstances.
We need to educate ourselves, and instead of looking down on them, we need to change the world into a better place. The golden rule teaches us to seek the same for others that we will aim for ourselves. If we ask a better tomorrow for ourselves, we should find a better tomorrow for them.
Additionally, we should ensure that we never hurt the pride of such people. Pride is often the last thing they’re left with, and we need to be careful about what we say or do. Else, we might do something that will shatter their only hope. It is a part of the Platinum rule that we should always keep in mind.
4. Stay fair at all times – Staying fair is a social norm that everyone must adapt. It allows society to progress as a whole. In recent times, we have seen a lot of social welfare organizations taking steps to help the oppressed reach an equal ground. However, it is still nothing but a far-fetched dream.
By understanding the concept of the golden rule, we know the importance of equality. It is a principle that we learn in both ethics and religion and should practice at all times. However, since every person and situation is different, there are times when we need to identify the weather and focus on fairness or justice. Treating everyone the same way is fairness, whereas there are situations when we need to be more considerate towards a specific individual, which is justice.
Being fair and just are two traits that we should keep close to our hearts at all times. These are critical steps toward becoming a better person.
5. Learning to respect others – Respect is a concept that every human consciously or sub-consciously strives for. It is a social element that every person deserves, and as humans, we need to ensure that we give people what they deserve.
Irrespective of whatever the age, class, race, or religion, we need to consider everyone as equal and treat them the way we want others to treat us. Additionally, there are certain situations in which you need to be a bit more considerate, as you may unintentionally hurt a person.
A typical example of the situation is offering Pork to a Muslim or special treatment because of a person’s race. While your intentions may be well and out of respect, your actions may lure them down. Instead, it is best to treat them the way they wish to be treated.
6. Avoid manipulating others – Manipulation is the most common sin that we can find in the modern world. People often manipulate and deceive others for their gain.
Every human has the right to think their way, carry an opinion, and act according to their will. However, the society we live in tries to overlap these factors. A typical example is a manipulation by the hands of an influential personality.
If the tables turn, and we get to experience how people maneuver our thoughts, it is the last thing that we would want for ourselves. Additionally, respect for one’s opinion is a fundamental human right and a lesson that we learn from the Platinum rule maxim. We should follow it at all times.
7. Avoid prejudice – As the famous quote goes, “do not judge a book by its cover.” Similarly, we should refrain from forming opinions or judging people, especially when we know nothing about them.
One thing that we often experience in movies is that the misfit often turns out to be the hero, Clark Kent. With facts unknown, perceived as a villain, he turns out to be the only hope for survival. A lesson that all of us must learn and implement in our daily lives.
By forming prejudice, in our minds, we try to snatch the power from one to show us their true selves. Instead, we develop a negative image of them, which is unlike something that we would want for ourselves. As the Golden rule teaches us, we should consider everyone as equal and be open to give them a chance.
Some people are introvert by nature, and pushing them too much, even with good intentions, might cause them to close further. Hence, they must keep the Platinum rule in mind and be open to accepting people the way they want to be taken.
8. Accountability – Actions speak louder than words, and words can go from wisdom to war. Everything we say or do has repercussions and demands that we think before we leap.
For example, there is always a fine line between a joke and an insult. Something that can be funny to us can be mean and hurtful for others. Hence, we should always position ourselves as others and only speak what we feel will be acceptable to ourselves. It is the foundation that we learn in the Golden rule.
However, there can be situations that may demand you to sugarcoat the truth. For example, someone who doesn’t have a healthy mind may not have the courage to digest the facts. In such situations, you should always keep the Platinum rule in mind, and choose your words very carefully.
9. Refrain from commenting on physical appearance – Physical appearance is a sensitive matter for everyone. Even if someone denies it, the fact is that it is the only factor that can make a person feel conscious about themselves.
Remembering the teachings of the Golden rule, we should only say what we will like to hear about ourselves. Passing negative or hurtful comments is not something that anyone wants to hear, especially if someone has physical retardation or genetic problem.
Autism is an increasing problem, and people worldwide are launching initiatives to educate people about how an autistic child wants others to treat them. It teaches us a great deal about the Platinum rule that we should adopt when dealing with others.
10. Avoid objectifying people – Perhaps the most important rule that one should remember; people are people and not an object.
A lot of people consider others as an object that has no emotions. Whereas, every human is the same, and we should never forget that. By following the Golden rule, we can identify what actions might hurt us, and how the same actions by us can hurt someone else.
Additionally, there are some people with additional or special needs. Unless we consider them human and treat them the way they want, we are unable to give them the courage to fight the situation. Hence, we should always keep the Platinum rule close to our hearts.
How This Ultimate Platinum Rule Refines the Interpersonal Relationships on the Way to Success
Interpersonal skills play a critical role in taking you a step forward in your life.
Communication and delivery are critical elements of a professional career. Unless you can communicate with the third party, you will always find a void that needs to be filled.
With the help of the Platinum rule, you are not only able to communicate but also understand the needs of others and prioritize them. For example, treating your in-line manager the way he wants to be treated will allow you to communicate better with them.
The Golden and Platinum maxim are a way of life that people often consider, yet forget to make a part of their daily life. These maxims allow us to evolve and become a better person.
By treating people the right way, we are not only making the society a better place, but we are also teaching them the right way to treat us. Whatever goes around, comes back around.
Dating Tips for Introverts
The article is developed in partnership with BetterHelp.
Meeting new people can be difficult for introverts. Due to their quieter natures, they can become overwhelmed in crowded places and take a while to warm up to others. This can make dating very challenging for them, as it requires courage, small talk, and meeting many new people.
But this doesn’t mean that introverts are destined to be alone. With a bit of courage and mindfulness, introverts can find great partners that bring them happiness and fulfillment. Here are some tips to help introverts navigate the dating scene.
Look for Dates Online
It’s easier than ever for introverts to start their dating search. Online dating has become increasingly popular over the past few years, meaning you can find dates without ever leaving your home. You no longer have to drag yourself to loud bars or overwhelming nightclubs just to meet potential partners.
Not only can you search from the comfort of your home, but online dating makes it easier to find dates that have common interests or may seem like a good match. When meeting people randomly at a bar or other public space, it can be quite a gamble to determine if someone you are attracted to is actually compatible. With online dating, you don’t have to gamble as much because you know the basics of their personality before even connecting.
Don’t Wait to Make the First Move
Introverts have a habit of allowing others to make the first move. This could be due to shyness or just because they don’t act quick enough. But by fearing making the first move, you could miss out on a chance to date a really great person! Don’t assume that they will make the first move themselves, because they could be just as nervous as you or not realize that you like them!
Therefore, you should gather your courage and start asking people out. Even if they reject you, you at least know whether or not they like you. You put too much of your life up to fate by waiting for someone else to make a move. So whether it is someone you really like or just want to get to know better, make the first move to keep things going.
Introverts tend to like quieter environments where there aren’t too many crowds. It’s much easier to develop a one-on-one connection in these environments, as talking or interacting at busier venues can be difficult.
Therefore, when setting up a date, choose something quiet and peaceful. For example, you could go on a walk through a park, head to a bookstore, or chat at a cafe.
Introverts may not be chatty, but that just makes them great listeners! If you are worried about not knowing what to say, utilize your listening skills instead. Ask your date some questions and listen intently to their responses. Sometimes the key to having a great date is not by making yourself interesting but by showing that you are interested in them.
Since introverts can be shy, quiet, and timid, they can develop a habit of letting people walk all over them. But this can cause problems when you are looking to find a high-quality, respectful partner. You don’t want to be a doormat or allow someone to control your life.
Therefore, it is important to assert your boundaries and needs throughout the process. If you want to take things slow, make that clear right away. If your partner is behaving inappropriately, tell them how uncomfortable you are.
And if you don’t think the person is right for you, break it off as soon as possible. Don’t string them along because you are worried about being a “bad person.” No one wants to waste time with someone who isn’t right for them.
The most important tip is to always be yourself. You won’t find great dates or maintain a healthy relationship if you hide your personality or lie to your partner. Introverts may feel inadequate due to society’s preferences for chatty, extroverted personalities. However, introverts need to give themselves some self-love and show off their true, wonderful personalities. This is the only way to ensure you find a great partner who loves you for yourself.
By following some of these tips, you can find success and happiness in the dating scene. No matter how introverted or shy you are, being mindful and assertive will help you find the perfect partner. If you are looking for more dating tips, head on over to the link below for more information and advice:
10 Tips for Safe Online Dating
As we become more and more reliant on technology in our day-to-day lives, it’s no surprise that online dating is becoming increasingly popular. However, while the internet can be a great resource for finding love, it can also be a dangerous place if you’re not careful and vigilant. Here are 10 tips for staying safe while online dating.
1. Do Your Research
Before you get started with online dating, make sure you’re fully prepared for what’s about to come. Think about what sites would be best suited to your criteria and start familiarizing yourself with the process of creating an account and posting your photo(s).
2. Set Up a Unique Email Address
When creating your profile, use a unique email address that will allow you to easily identify any messages from people who don’t have good intentions. This will save a lot of time if any potential suitors turn out to be completely different from what they seemed online.
3. Keep Personal Details Private
In the same way that you wouldn’t walk up to a complete stranger in the street and tell them your full name, address and date of birth, you shouldn’t be giving out this information on an online dating website either. While it’s tempting to put up all your details when someone asks for them, resist the urge. No one needs to know everything about you straight away.
4. Don’t Share Sensitive Information
Just like with personal details, always think twice before sharing anything sensitive such as where you work or live. If for any reason you feel uncomfortable doing so, don’t post it or delete it before re-posting if necessary. The internet is a very public place and any money-hungry criminals who can see that sort of info will be sure to take advantage.
5. Be Cautious of What You Post on Your Wall
When you’re online dating, your Facebook wall is the first thing that potential matches are likely to look at before they make a judgment on whether or not they want to get in contact with you. If you’ve had a recent breakup or are feeling particularly emotional about life in general, it’s best not to post any negative updates until after you’ve met someone face-to-face, otherwise they could think twice about approaching you for fear that you might be high maintenance!
6. Run a Background Check On Them
If your gut instinct is warning you that something’s wrong, you can always run a background check on the person who’s caught your eye by using a search engine. This will help you to find out if they’re married, have a criminal record or any other important information that could impact your trust in them.
7. Meet in a Public Place
If you feel comfortable doing so, arrange to meet someone at a public place such as a cafe, restaurant or bar before going back together to one of your houses. This gives both of you the chance to see how well you get on and it makes it harder for anyone who has sinister plans towards either of you. Just make sure that they know not to bring friends along with them when meeting up for the first time!
8. Don’t Give Out Your Number Straight Away
On paper, the internet is an anonymous place which means that talking on the phone is safer than it would be in person. However, just like with personal details and sensitive information, always think twice before giving your phone number to someone you don’t know very well. It’s better to wait until you’ve got a bit more background information and feel confident that they’re not going to harm you.
9. Don’t Meet Up with Anyone If You Suspect They’re Lying
If for some reason the warning bells are ringing louder than ever and you really do suspect that someone is lying about who they claim to be on their profile, give them as much false information as possible as soon as you start talking over the site or by email/phone if they haven’t asked for your contact details yet. This means that if they are planning on doing you harm, they won’t be able to because they don’t know where to find you.
10. Stay Safe
Above all, just remember that while online dating can be fun and exciting, it’s always better to protect yourself by using your common sense. This means keeping everything you’ve just read in mind at all times when meeting up with new people through the internet. Above all else, if your gut instinct is warning you about something then trust it!
Casual Gay Dating Tips
Dating is not easy, and making it about gay love turns it into something more challenging. Being gay adds a unique level of complexity to the whole dating process because, for one, only men are involved in this situation, and they can be quite stubborn, you know. When your heart is guarded, and you are still figuring out what you truly want from your partner, finding a romantic partner becomes all the more taxing.
People are now a bit more lenient towards LGBTQs, and there are more gay clubs and bars than you could find a decade ago. Still, hanging out at these bars may or may not help you find a partner. Turning to online dating sites may have the answer to all your questions, because even if you say, “I only want a gay hookup near me,” socializing alone is not going to cut it.
Dating sites are now different from what they used to be a few years ago – they are a lot safer, more effective, and more entertaining. But to enjoy casual gay dating to the full, be sure to remember a few tips.
Determine What You Want Out of It
Knowing exactly why you want to use a dating site can make the whole partner search a lot more efficient and meaningful. For instance:
- Occasional Hookups: If you are looking for guys for occasional hookups, nothing works better than a niche gay hookup site. You can simply put your profile out there and hope for someone seeking a casual relationship to contact you directly. You are more likely to be successful when you come with this frame of mind and know you are not ready for any commitment.
- Friends with Benefits: The term means different things to different people, but it simply refers to sexual relationships without any commitment involved in most cases. Finding a “friend” online is the way to go because you can discuss your expectations and determine how often you are going to see each other without feeling awkward or developing any soft corner.
- Open Relationships: When you are already in a relationship with another man and still looking for a third, be sure to make it clear from the word go. Dating sites now allow you to find partners seeking open relationships, but be sure to use the right filters and tell your partner that you are not exclusively dating them.
Consider Video Chat before Meeting Offline
Finding the most popular and authentic casual dating site is essential for enjoying gay interaction. One way to make a decision is to check how diverse the modes of communication are. A good dating site offers instant messaging and a live chat feature, but an excellent platform adds voice chat and video chat with various functionality in chat rooms, such as file exchange, etc.
When dating casually, be sure to take it past text messaging. Consider having a voice chat or ask him for his phone number. If it goes well, suggest chatting face-to-face or initiate a video call. With dating sites offering a video chat facility, you do not have to turn to Skype, Zoom, or Facetime. Video interaction helps you make friends quickly and simplifies getting to know your potential partner better. With VR technology and other advancements, you can actually turn your video session into a real-time date. So be sure to utilize the opportunity before going out for a casual gay date.
Do Not Raise Your Expectations Too High
Dating sites can make a huge difference to your love life, but understand where to stop and how to manage your expectations. So many gay men suffer because they have high expectations and are way too picky than they should be. Yes, with a good dating site, the pool of possibilities seems endless, but you have to learn to draw a line somewhere.
Understand that gay men come with inflated egos and strive hard to be the best at whatever they do. You cannot behave irrationally while choosing a partner. Knowing there are so many potential partners does not mean you can write someone off just because they do not look exactly the way you want. Give it a shot. Start a conversation. Lower your expectations a little. Get to know him better, and you will love every minute of dating casually online.
Avoid Getting Attached if You Want to Stay Casual
It seems there are no rules when dating casually, but that is not true. One of many unsaid rules is to ensure you do not get too attached and end up being heartbroken. Some people say that casual dating is emotionally empty, so it is okay to add a bit of emotions to relationships. It is fine so long as you know your boundaries, or you might develop feelings for your partner. If it is two-way traffic, you might give it a try and consider turning it into something more meaningful. But to avoid any such situation, be upfront about what you like and why you are using a casual gay dating site in the first place. Setting meet-up limits may also give you a reality check and keep you grounded.
Casual gay dating is a lot of fun when you know how to set limits and find a like-minded partner. Dating sites are there to help, but be sure to spend more time chatting and getting to know your guy to ensure your casual gay dating experience does not become a source of heartache for you.
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