Treating people right is the biggest dilemma that our generation is trying to resolve. Every step we take feels like a step backward.
The world we live in is full of people who continuously search for opportunities to take advantage of the other person. However, not everyone is the same. The same world consists of people who are true to the core and mean well for you.
Some numerous debates and theories try to highlight the best of treating a person. We will draw a comparison between two of the most common approaches; Golden rule and Platinum rule, to help you develop a better understanding of which one is the most effective.
The Origin of Maxim Golden Rule
The golden rule maxim dates back to the earliest periods of human history. It has been a foundation stone and a critical element in numerous religions and cultures. It is a lesson of righteousness and reciprocity that teaches one to treat others the same way they wish others will treat them.
Different research suggests different timings to be the actual origin of the maxim. According to some, it dates back to ancient Egypt. Whereas, others claim the narrations first came in the teachings of Leviticus.
It is a standard part of all of the Abrahamic religions, with Islam being the only one that enforces the rule as a religious obligation for every Muslim to follow.
The Golden Rule (treat others how YOU want to be treated) VS The Platinum Rule (treat others how THEY want to be treated)
As time moved one, the Golden rule became a topic of constant debate and drew criticism from numerous philosophers around the globe.
The Golden rule teaches us how to be empathetic and reciprocate someone’s actions towards us. However, according to philosophers, the maxim did not focus on situational requirements. It could lead someone towards irresponsible behavior if there was a difference in the interest and value of two parties.
This conflict gave birth to a new ideology known as the “Platinum Rule,” which teaches us about treating others according to their desire. It takes the Golden rule a step forward and focuses on the critical role that situations and preferences play in managing people.
It allows people to put themselves in the shoes of others and then make decisions according to how they would want to be treated. A typical example of the Platinum rule is ignoring prejudice against someone’s race or religion when you decide how you are going to act towards them. Instead, your actions are similar to how the other person would want them to be.
How to Figure Out the Best Way to Treat Others (10 Ways make “YOU” into “THEY”)
1. Practice empathy – We are often unable to understand the course of one’s action. There are times when these actions end up hurting us, whereas they were not even about us in the first place. We fail to see past those actions and ignore the importance of understanding one’s behavior.
By keeping the Golden rule in mind, we will enable us to look past a person’s actions and move toward understanding the distress they may be in. It will ultimately allow us to practice the Platinum Rule, and treating them the right way will not only help us diffuse the situation but also improve the other person.
2. Avoid pointing out other’s flaws – By pointing flaws and drawing comparisons, we make people walk on a path of insecurities and force them to adopt a negative outlook on life and society. It is one of the most common problems that people in the modern age are suffering from.
Bullying is a typical example of such a situation, and numerous incidents are reported daily. It has become a significant cause of suicide in children in their teens, as they are unable to find the will to cope-up and face the negativity that surrounds them.
If we switch sides and become the point of unnecessary focus, we will understand the pain that these actions cause. Considering and treating them as equal will not only allow them to feel the same way as you do but will teach them to overcome their flaws and focus on the positivity that life has to offer.
3. Avoid looking down on people – Not everyone is born with a golden spoon in their mouth. Even in such modern times, a considerable percentage of the world population lives under the poverty line.
While many of them work day and night to try and make their way to the top, some are in such a bad condition that they are not even capable of saving themselves. It is a way of life, and keeping a sane eye makes us look towards the actual reason why such people are unable to change their circumstances.
We need to educate ourselves, and instead of looking down on them, we need to change the world into a better place. The golden rule teaches us to seek the same for others that we will aim for ourselves. If we ask a better tomorrow for ourselves, we should find a better tomorrow for them.
Additionally, we should ensure that we never hurt the pride of such people. Pride is often the last thing they’re left with, and we need to be careful about what we say or do. Else, we might do something that will shatter their only hope. It is a part of the Platinum rule that we should always keep in mind.
4. Stay fair at all times – Staying fair is a social norm that everyone must adapt. It allows society to progress as a whole. In recent times, we have seen a lot of social welfare organizations taking steps to help the oppressed reach an equal ground. However, it is still nothing but a far-fetched dream.
By understanding the concept of the golden rule, we know the importance of equality. It is a principle that we learn in both ethics and religion and should practice at all times. However, since every person and situation is different, there are times when we need to identify the weather and focus on fairness or justice. Treating everyone the same way is fairness, whereas there are situations when we need to be more considerate towards a specific individual, which is justice.
Being fair and just are two traits that we should keep close to our hearts at all times. These are critical steps toward becoming a better person.
5. Learning to respect others – Respect is a concept that every human consciously or sub-consciously strives for. It is a social element that every person deserves, and as humans, we need to ensure that we give people what they deserve.
Irrespective of whatever the age, class, race, or religion, we need to consider everyone as equal and treat them the way we want others to treat us. Additionally, there are certain situations in which you need to be a bit more considerate, as you may unintentionally hurt a person.
A typical example of the situation is offering Pork to a Muslim or special treatment because of a person’s race. While your intentions may be well and out of respect, your actions may lure them down. Instead, it is best to treat them the way they wish to be treated.
6. Avoid manipulating others – Manipulation is the most common sin that we can find in the modern world. People often manipulate and deceive others for their gain.
Every human has the right to think their way, carry an opinion, and act according to their will. However, the society we live in tries to overlap these factors. A typical example is a manipulation by the hands of an influential personality.
If the tables turn, and we get to experience how people maneuver our thoughts, it is the last thing that we would want for ourselves. Additionally, respect for one’s opinion is a fundamental human right and a lesson that we learn from the Platinum rule maxim. We should follow it at all times.
7. Avoid prejudice – As the famous quote goes, “do not judge a book by its cover.” Similarly, we should refrain from forming opinions or judging people, especially when we know nothing about them.
One thing that we often experience in movies is that the misfit often turns out to be the hero, Clark Kent. With facts unknown, perceived as a villain, he turns out to be the only hope for survival. A lesson that all of us must learn and implement in our daily lives.
By forming prejudice, in our minds, we try to snatch the power from one to show us their true selves. Instead, we develop a negative image of them, which is unlike something that we would want for ourselves. As the Golden rule teaches us, we should consider everyone as equal and be open to give them a chance.
Some people are introvert by nature, and pushing them too much, even with good intentions, might cause them to close further. Hence, they must keep the Platinum rule in mind and be open to accepting people the way they want to be taken.
8. Accountability – Actions speak louder than words, and words can go from wisdom to war. Everything we say or do has repercussions and demands that we think before we leap.
For example, there is always a fine line between a joke and an insult. Something that can be funny to us can be mean and hurtful for others. Hence, we should always position ourselves as others and only speak what we feel will be acceptable to ourselves. It is the foundation that we learn in the Golden rule.
However, there can be situations that may demand you to sugarcoat the truth. For example, someone who doesn’t have a healthy mind may not have the courage to digest the facts. In such situations, you should always keep the Platinum rule in mind, and choose your words very carefully.
9. Refrain from commenting on physical appearance – Physical appearance is a sensitive matter for everyone. Even if someone denies it, the fact is that it is the only factor that can make a person feel conscious about themselves.
Remembering the teachings of the Golden rule, we should only say what we will like to hear about ourselves. Passing negative or hurtful comments is not something that anyone wants to hear, especially if someone has physical retardation or genetic problem.
Autism is an increasing problem, and people worldwide are launching initiatives to educate people about how an autistic child wants others to treat them. It teaches us a great deal about the Platinum rule that we should adopt when dealing with others.
10. Avoid objectifying people – Perhaps the most important rule that one should remember; people are people and not an object.
A lot of people consider others as an object that has no emotions. Whereas, every human is the same, and we should never forget that. By following the Golden rule, we can identify what actions might hurt us, and how the same actions by us can hurt someone else.
Additionally, there are some people with additional or special needs. Unless we consider them human and treat them the way they want, we are unable to give them the courage to fight the situation. Hence, we should always keep the Platinum rule close to our hearts.
How This Ultimate Platinum Rule Refines the Interpersonal Relationships on the Way to Success
Interpersonal skills play a critical role in taking you a step forward in your life.
Communication and delivery are critical elements of a professional career. Unless you can communicate with the third party, you will always find a void that needs to be filled.
With the help of the Platinum rule, you are not only able to communicate but also understand the needs of others and prioritize them. For example, treating your in-line manager the way he wants to be treated will allow you to communicate better with them.
The Golden and Platinum maxim are a way of life that people often consider, yet forget to make a part of their daily life. These maxims allow us to evolve and become a better person.
By treating people the right way, we are not only making the society a better place, but we are also teaching them the right way to treat us. Whatever goes around, comes back around.
Top 5 Free Dating Apps That Really Work
When it comes to dating, you have probably tried everything out there. Some apps look great at first, but they will ask you to pay to message people and actually meet someone. Some others are advertised through ads – once in there, you realize they are full of bots and apparent models who want to go under their league by choosing you. On the bright side of things, there are many free dating apps that work!
OkCupid is one of the oldest players on the market and allows you to find quick hookups, casual dating options or even long term relationships. As you sign up, you will be asked for your age, as well as a few preferences. These settings will help you find better matches in the long run. The more complete your profile is, the more successful you will be.
Given the popularity of this app, it has an incredible user base. Obviously, it has a premium version as well, but you can do quite a lot with the free one too. The premium subscription allows you to see who has liked your profile or pictures. Other than that, it is worth noting that OkCupid brings in new features on a regular basis.
Tinder is a classic and the app has gained notoriety for its quick hookups and casual dates. It was not meant to be a long-term dating app, but mostly handy for those who want quick hookups with no strings attached. The interface is easy to use and the app boosts a desktop version as well. Like any other app out there, it has both free and premium versions.
The free version is good enough to help you start dating. You can now use Tinder for more than just casual hookups and you can swipe, find matches and communicate with a free account too. The only drawback is you cannot see all the available information on a profile, but this is not a big deal once the match is complete and you start talking to potential matches.
Plenty of Fish
The name of this app is crystal clear – there is plenty of fish in the sea and you can easily find someone to match your requirements and expectations as well. The best part about this app? Unlike other dating apps, you do not have to pay in order to communicate to someone you like. Simply like them, send a message and wait for a reply – simple as that.
The free purpose of this app has brought in over 70 million users. Indeed, you can also get the premium version if you want better features – such as no ads at all, more filters for the search function, better matches and so on. For example, you could filter matches based on the money they make or perhaps the education.
Some describe Grouper as a prolific dating app. Some others see it as a good place to meet new people and make friends. Grouper describes itself as an offline social club and it is exclusive to iOS users only. Therefore, Android users are unable to get there, as there are no alternatives. The purpose of this app is fairly simple to understand.
It will analyze every small detail from people’s social accounts. Strong algorithms will then decide potential matches and people are grouped together in group dates. It basically sets up some blind dates for groups. This whole activity is not free for groups, but it is definitely interesting – get a couple of wingmen and the app will hook you up with another group of three people. It is totally free for single individuals getting invited in though.
OurTime is not the average dating app. You will not just end up swiping profile, sending messages to potential matches and meeting in real life. Instead, the app is a bit more exclusive and it aims to help single seniors. It is aimed at people over 50 years old. You can browse profiles for free and determine whether or not it is worth your time.
Most features are paid, but looking around – checking the local market – is free. Fees depend on how long you need the app for. Sure, the longer the subscription, the more discounted the monthly rate will be. But then, most people begin with a month only, as they will usually find matches and spark some conversations straight away.
In the end, these are some of the dating apps that actually work these days – no funny messages from supermodels or bots and no dodgy features. They boost plenty of users from all parts of the world, so finding potential dates should be a matter of time only.
Four Modern Dating Trends That May Surprise You
It seems like only yesterday that traditional, heterosexual, monogamous relationships largely dominated the Western world. While this was certainly true to an extent, “non-traditional” relationships have existed since the beginning of time; they have simply never been in the limelight. However, times are changing, and what’s considered “acceptable” now encompasses far more than solely traditional relationships. The purpose of this article isn’t to argue whether these alternative relationships are “right” or “wrong.” Let’s face facts: morality is a spectrum that’s largely dependent on your upbringing, social surroundings, religion, and personal experience, making it hard (if not impossible) to accurately judge these alternative relationship types. No, we’re not here to demonize anyone, but we are willing to educate you on what these types of relationships ensue (if you’re willing to learn).
How People Satisfy Their Romantic Needs
If you’re open-minded, considering an alternative dating style, or just plain curious, read on to see what you’ve been missing out on.
While many couples spend the majority of their lives together, this isn’t the case for people engaged in long-distance dating. Although many of these couples find each other via online dating websites, there are others who simply bumped into each other during their travels & decided they were right for each other. Obviously, spending the majority of your time separated from your partner creates a unique set of challenges (one great example is military dating), but for the couples that make it, their bonds are unbreakable!
Often, when we hear the term “dating,” we associate it with romance. However, romance isn’t always at play when it comes to sugar dating. While romance can certainly be a part of sugar dating, money is actually what these relationships are centered around. One partner (dubbed the “sugar momma” or “sugar daddy”) provides financial stability for their less financially endowed partner (dubbed the “sugar baby”). Often, sugar mommas/daddies will shower their sugar babies with expensive gifts, take them out on luxurious dates, and even pay for their routine expenses or provide them with an “allowance.” When one searches and finds a sugar momma meet using niche online dating services or after getting introduced in real life, they become their “sugar baby,” and it’s mutually understood that the relationship is based on finances. This is what separates sugar dating from “gold-digging,” a type of manipulation where one partner pretends to be romantically interested in their partner when they’re only after their money. In sugar dating, one party provides the finances while the other party brings companionship to the table.
Many people assume that “non-exclusive” means cheating; however, this isn’t always the case. Also known as polyamory, non-exclusive dating involves having more than one romantic (or sexual) partner. Trust and communication play a big part in the success (or failure) of these relationships. All parties involved must set clear guidelines for their partners (and their partner’s partners) if the relationships are to work. Often, non-exclusive dating takes place online. When this is the case, staying safe online is of the utmost importance. Not only does this involve physical security, but relationship security as well. Many dishonest singles will try to engage in a non-exclusive partnership without their current partner’s knowledge (or blessing), making the vetting process a vital part of dating non-exclusively while online.
In a “guest marriage,” both parties are married, but they don’t live together. Instead, they actually live separate lives but routinely make time to meet up with each other. This is distinctly different from being “separated,” where both partners are attempting to take some time apart in hopes of rekindling the relationship later on. In a guest marriage, the love is always there; it just doesn’t involve spending every second of every day together! This type of marriage is especially popular among older couples whose children have gone to college, celebrities, or couples where one partner often travels for work.
Why Relationship Trends Are Constantly Evolving
Much like the world around us, the general public’s perception of “love” is constantly changing. With the past leaving many partners feeling trapped in their relationships, many lovers (of all ages) are searching for alternatives to the traditional nuclear family. This accounts for the changes among the older folks, but of course, the youth is also helping change relationship trends. With alternative sexualities, lifestyles, and relationship types becoming more well-known & widespread (thanks to the instant availability of the internet), it wouldn’t surprise us if the “traditional family” mindset became the minority within the next century.
Of course, there are many people who believe that the “old way is the only way,” and who’s to say—we’re not here to judge! Regardless, love can appear in many different forms and be expressed in many different ways. As long as your current relationship is working for you, then you’re doing it right!
Is It Healthy to Start Phone Sex with a Person Who Has a Personality Disorder?
Having phone sex with someone can be a bit of a roller coaster in the most ordinary conditions. You’re wondering if your partner is enjoying it as much as you are, you’re trying not to get paranoid about the awkward silences, and you want to pace yourself so that you can finish together.
But if you’re having phone sex with someone with a personality disorder, things can look a bit different. So, let’s talk about whether it’s healthy to have phone sex with someone who has a personality disorder and what you should do to handle it with polish and kindness.
What Personality Disorders Are
Personality disorders are a collection of mental illnesses, and psychologists typically group them into three categories: eccentric, dramatic, and anxious. The list of personality disorders includes paranoid, schizoid, schizotypal, antisocial, borderline, histrionic, narcissistic, avoidant, dependent, and obsessive-compulsive.
There’s a common misconception that personality disorders are rare, but that’s just not the case. Some estimates suggest that between ten and thirteen percent of people have personality disorders. Chances are you know someone with a personality disorder. People with personality disorders face a lot of stigma, and sometimes their experiences are questioned since they have a mental illness. But the truth is that they deserve love and sexual gratification as much as anyone else.
Sex and Personality Disorders
Some of the symptoms of personality disorders can show up in the bedroom—including when you’re having phone sex. The sexual implications of personality disorders vary depending on what kind of personality disorder you’re dealing with.
Borderline personality disorder (BPD), which affects 1.4% of the population, can make people sensitive and impetuous. That means it might be harder for them to wait for your response, or they may wrongly take something as an insult. Their reactions when you have sex with them may also seem oversized because people with this personality disorder have difficulty regulating their emotions. Sometimes they can be impulsive or self-destructive, so it’s important to help them be safe during safe phone sex. Choosing your words carefully is especially important if you’re having sex with someone with this kind of personality disorder to avoid miscommunication or interactions that trigger their insecurities.
Anxiety is another grouping of personality disorders, and it includes those with avoidant, dependent, or obsessive-compulsive behaviors. People with anxiety often struggle with intrusive thoughts, making it difficult to be mindful and focus on sex. They may also have trouble reaching orgasm, either because they are insecure about their body image or they have too many thoughts running through their minds to generate enough sexual momentum to reach orgasm. Anxiety may also prevent them from being as wild or vocal as others may be during phone sex.
If you’re having phone sex with someone who is anxious, it’s essential to be a calming presence. If you can help them feel comfortable, they may just surprise you by letting loose. But if you start to pressure them, they may exit the conversation. Pressure and anxiety don’t mix well, especially during phone sex.
People who are narcissists outside the bedroom will likely turn out to be narcissists in the bedroom, too. And rather unfortunately, narcissists won’t be much fun at all during phone sex. Narcissists are known for focusing entirely on themselves, feeling superior to everyone around them, and dismissing needs and wants that aren’t their own. During phone sex, narcissism may show up as someone who is only interested in talking about their fantasies, won’t be flexible with the pace, and hangs up as soon as they finished—even if you didn’t climax.
It’s difficult to deal with narcissists in the bedroom. But if you’re having phone sex with someone you suspect is a narcissist (or is, at the very least, a selfish lover), it’s imperative to set boundaries. Let them know that you want to talk about your fantasies as well, and if they don’t respond in kind, you’ll end the conversation right then. That way, they know that the only way to get what they want is to give you what you want, too.
How to Have Phone Sex In Spite of a Personality Disorder
No matter who you’re having phone sex with, it always helps to have some empathy. Don’t dismiss your phone sex partner’s thoughts due to their disorder, and don’t needlessly bring up their condition.
If they seem to have trouble staying sexually connected, offer a listening ear and see what you can do to help them get back in the mood. Flexibility is central to having a satisfying sexual experience with someone with a personality disorder.
And keep your own boundaries in mind, too. If the person you’re having phone sex with isn’t doing it for you, cut the conversation short. You don’t owe anyone your time. Make sure you are enjoying the conversation, or else it won’t be a worthwhile encounter.
Find a Phone Sex Buddy
If you’re in the market for a new phone sex buddy, try Phone sex at arousr.com. Arousr’s phone call operators are kind, open-minded, and super sexy. Listen to this phone sex operator talk about her kinky experiences on Arousr:
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