Among the hundreds of other things that the pandemic has taught us is the fact that we all need support.
Not just physical and financial, but also emotional.
But even before the health crisis struck, there was increasing awareness of the pressure that men faced. The world was experiencing unemployment, suicide rates, alcohol and drug abuse, sexual violence, domestic abuse and depression on an unprecedented scale, with men bearing a large part of this burden.
What men also face is the pressure of having to conform to cultural and social stereotypes of what it is to be a “Man”.
There is a growing trend of men’s support groups emerging across the world to deal with the issues that men face.
Let’s look at some of these typical gender-related attitudes that society holds across geographies and cultures:
- Women are more “emotional” and express their feelings more frequently and more intensely than men
- Crying is more associated with women and “weakness”
- Expressing feelings is encouraged in girls while boys are taught to hold their feelings in
- Women share their feelings freely especially with other women
- Men are supposed to maintain a stoic silence when they face problems
- Women express a wider range of different emotions and nuanced feelings that men don’t understand
- Men are restricted from expressing or disclosing their intimate, innermost feelings
- Men are allowed to express anger, contempt and happiness, but not fear, anxiety or dependence
Given the restrictive and constrictive nature of the Mars and Venus stereotypes that society imposes on us, across different cultures, the social and emotional training of a male child begins at a very young age.
Emotion Expressions Are Learned in Childhood
Children are keen observers of the world around them, and learn to model or imitate behaviors according to what the adults encourage or discourage.
Though gender differences are absent in infancy, the social training is imbibed during the toddler or pre-schooler stage.
In Western cultures, especially, parents tend to discuss more emotional topics with their daughters rather than their sons.
Women are allowed to express anger and contempt mainly through words and facial expressions, while men can express these in physical terms.
As children grow, they carry these learnings into their adult lives and their interactions with peers.
The concepts of “masculinity” and “femininity” are socially learned and defined constructs. Gender responses are mainly normalized through social structures, parental attitudes, culture, interactions, context, and peer relationships.
The Man Box
Researcher Mark Greene and others have defined a dominant type of over emphasized masculinity as the “Man Box”
It describes behaviors, expectations and perceptions that are rigidly imposed by the social environment to define what is and what is not “manly behavior”.
Attributes that are considered “masculine” and worthy of the Man Box are:
This gives men the license to indulge in behaviors such as flirting, being tough, drinking to excessive, disruptive and aggressive behaviors, rule breaking, speeding, risky behaviors etc.
Any differences and violation of these perceptions of “manliness” are strictly policed by the peer group, and society in general, with mockery “Acting like a girl” “Manning Up” or “Not being man enough”.
There is also homophobia related policing of male emotional expression, along with racism and misogyny which are enforced through bullying and shaming.
In its extreme form, the Man Box exists to perpetuate the domination, exploitation and marginalization of women, transgenders and alternate sexual choices.
While a large number of men face the pressure to behave, think and feel in certain prescribed ways, the tide is slowly but surely turning in favor of becoming “human” rather than a gender stereotype.
From the Man Box to the emergence of men’s support groups has been a long, challenging and ultimately rewarding journey.
Getting Fit and Growing as a Man after 50
Men are trained from early childhood to follow habits of competition, ambition, opposing, rough and tough behaviors. These faulty and often toxic beliefs are destructive and emotionally repressive, leading to relationship breakdowns, loneliness, stress and depression in men.
As men cross the age of 50, there is a drop in testosterone levels. Some experts have termed this phase “male menopause”.
While this doesn’t strictly follow the pattern of the female menopausal changes, there are several similarities. Many men may experience:
- Energy drop
- Sadness and depression
- Sleep disturbances
- Erectile dysfunction
- Reduced libido
- Weight increase
- Difficulty in concentration
- Low self-esteem/confidence
- Lower bone density
- Low motivation
Maintaining fitness during this period can be challenging. Men are often at the peak of their careers at this stage. According to research, college educated, full-time working men’s wages continue to grow in their forties and usually peak in their 50s.
This leaves little time or inclination for health and fitness. However, this is also the stage when there are significant body changes. There is reduced muscle movement, and muscles begin to become less elastic, with decreased tone and mass.
As the body ages, the water content in the cells reduces from about 65% to 54% as you cross age 50.
Memory loss, higher levels of anxiety and stress may also begin to make their appearance.
Men at 50 may also be at risk of lifestyle diseases such as diabetes, hypertension and certain types of cancer.
Staying fit at this age involves:
- Paying attention to your diet
- Getting regular health exams done
- Maintaining a healthy weight
- Quitting smoking if you do
- Ensuring that you get your full 7-8 hours of sleep
- Taking alcohol in moderation
- Developing a convenient, enjoyable and effective exercise routine
- Staying socially active
- Ensuring that you take your routine vaccinations and immunization procedures
Emotional and Psychological Support
Physical fitness and health are a major determiner of emotional health. However, while crossing the 40s and entering the 50s, there could be certain emotional and psychological issues that crop up.
Studies show that “gray divorce” (involving couples in their 50s) is on the rise in America and has almost doubled over the last decade. For those aged 65 and above, the rates have tripled. Aging Baby Boomers who have been married before face increasing marital instability in their subsequent relationships.
Gray divorces come with their own set of issues such as increased financial instability, and a deterioration in social life.
While both men and women seek professional help in terms of counseling and therapy, the numbers on the ground show that men tend to avoid counseling for emotional problems. More than 70% women opt for counseling for depression while the numbers for men stand at 60%.
Men are also less likely to take prescription medications for such issues. They avoid asking for professional help till it reaches crisis stage. The results can be devastating, ending in suicide or major mental health problems. Suicides among men is 3.5 times higher than women. Substance abuse is also more common among distressed males.
The main problem is that society expects men to be tougher, and more resilient. They develop higher tolerance for emotional distress, but since the issues are not dealt with, they’re merely suppressed or hidden.
Men are out of touch with their emotions and lack the vocabulary to express them freely. They may not be aware of the depth and extent of their grief, anxiety, stress, etc.
Boys are also taught that it’s important to be independent and not cling to others for help. Another issue is that of trust. Some studies have shown that men are less prone to trust than women. This means that men find it difficult to confide in others or even in their therapists.
Traditionally men (especially white) have always benefited from the political, social and economic order. But this also means increased competition, isolation and anxiety to “man up”.
With the rise of feminism, men feel threatened, unable to express themselves in the ways they’re used to, and are plagued by the feeling that they’ve lost the “privileges” they once had.
Support and Growth in the Golden Years
Many men find it embarrassing and humiliating to share the fact that they find themselves emotionally vulnerable.
In times of stress, anxiety and existential crisis, men’s deep-rooted social training kicks in and they prefer to either bottle it all up or express it in inappropriate ways such as anger, aggressiveness or substance abuse. Faulty social beliefs have made it difficult for men to openly seek emotional help.
Loneliness and isolation are becoming a serious issue in the developed world, with one study showing that more than 40% of men feel that they’re unable to confide in their friends about problems, and nearly 33% of men confessing that they have no friends at all.
In the typical male, there is a “Get over it” or “Deal with it” attitude that prevents a real analysis of the problem. Men quickly learn that displaying emotions in public tends to be viewed with mockery, contempt and shaming. Repressing emotions is considered noble, tough and more acceptable.
Therapy can also be quite an expensive proposition, with uncertain outcomes. There could be a long waiting list to get an appointment with a counselor or psychiatrist.
When there is a need for immediate help, men seldom want to burden their families, friends or co-workers. Men are also trained to be problem-solvers and there is immense pressure on them to handle problems quickly and effectively, and to eliminate problems.
This is where men’s support groups come in.
What Are Men’s Support Groups?
Typical men’s support groups comprise between 7-10 men who gather at regular intervals to share events of their daily lives, their emotions, apprehensions, positive feelings and innermost thoughts in a non-judgmental space.
They provide men with the opportunity to freely express themselves, and get support, advice, education, and take up new challenges for personal growth.
These groups may address issues such as
- Family issues
- Job and Career related problems
- Death, Grief
- Anger management
- Sexual issues
- Domestic abuse
- Alcoholism/Drug addiction
- Health and fitness
- Lifestyle diseases, Cancer or Serious illnesses
Important guidelines for these groups include:
- Commitment and regular attendance
- Respect for privacy and confidentiality
- Taking ownership/responsibility for feelings
- Attentive listening in the group
- Non-judgmental acknowledgment of another person’s expression
- Permission to pass or indicate unwillingness/lack of comfort in participate in the discussion
- Staying away from passing judgment and advise-giving
- Avoiding confrontational questioning
- Emotional honesty
- Providing a safe space for emotional expression
Benefits of Men’s Support Groups
Online discussion and support groups are also gaining ground and men can avail of the benefits from the privacy and comfort of their own homes.
A small-sized support group usually comprises people with similar backgrounds and life experiences. This means that they share the same kind of issues, anxieties, worries, problems of living and decision-making. They gain more self-acceptance, autonomy and control over their social environment. Often, men find a new purpose in life and gain new, valuable friendships.
A support group helps men to find a space where they can truly learn about themselves and how to be themselves.
It can be a place of rest, wellness and safety.
A men’s support group offers several important benefits:
- It reduces the feelings of isolation and loneliness
- Secure space to express inner feelings
- Group members stop feeling judged
- They learn to be more open and honest about their emotions
- They gain different perspectives and points of view about their problems
- Helps them to improve their anger management
- Improves coping skills
- Helps them feel more empowered
- Opens them up to newer ideas on education, society, culture
- Ensures privacy and boosts trust
- Develops mutually beneficial relationships
- Prevents the need for hasty and immediate problem solving
Finding the Right Support Group
On your part, it’s important to ask yourself whether you’re willing to be honest and open, and genuinely express your feelings, while ensuring that you’re not judgmental about others.
Look for groups located near you, so that you don’t miss meetings.
It’s wiser to choose a group that doesn’t charge fees.
Check out a group across a few meetings before you commit.
Avoid groups that are confrontational or encourage violence, abuse and anger in the name of openness.
Check if the group is affiliated/sponsored by a corporate.
Ensure that privacy and confidentiality are prioritized.
Top 10 Proofreading Tips to Improve Your Resume
When applying for a job, the simplest typo or mistake on your resume can make you seem unprofessional and careless and undermine your chances of success. Having written your resume, it’s essential that you thoroughly proofread it to catch any errors and mistakes. From printing it out, to reading your resume aloud, to using a writing service to help, here are ten top tips to help you improve your resume and make a great first impression.
1. Use Spell Check
Many spelling mistakes and errors can be avoided by ensuring that you’ve enabled the spellcheck feature on your word processor. Once you have finished writing your resume, the first thing you should do is to run a spell-check. This will help you quickly identify and correct any obvious spelling and grammar mistakes.
However, you must ensure that the language is set correctly. Be aware of your audience and ensure that you change the language preference to either British English if you’re applying for a job in the UK, or American English, if your job application is being sent to the US. Similarly, ensure that you use and apply the correct spelling and grammar conventions, depending on which country you’re sending your resume to. Some terminology may be slightly different, so it’s worth checking that you have used it correctly.
Although the spell check feature will help you correct obvious mistakes, it can miss some errors. For instance, it will probably miss an unintentional stray letter or an omitted letter, so that you may be applying for a role as a ‘manger’ instead of as a ‘manager’. Therefore, once you’ve used the spell checker tool, it’s essential that you still personally re-read it and check it carefully.
2. Wait a Day before Proofreading Your Resume
Make sure that you factor in sometime between writing your resume and beginning to proofread it. Ideally, you should wait a day or two before you start to proofread and edit your resume. This break will enable you to get some distance from the document and allow you to return to it with fresh eyes. As such, you’ll be more likely to spot any mistakes you may have made. Equally, proofreading a resume requires time and attention, so make sure that you schedule in your proofreading session for a time when you are alert.
3. Print out a Copy
Printing out your resume on to paper is a helpful proofreading strategy. When we read text on a screen, there is a tendency to skim read, as opposed to reading with care. By contrast, when words are printed on paper, we are more likely to read these with more attention, meaning that it will be easier and more likely for you to be able to successfully identify any errors in your resume.
Once you have written your resume and completed an initial review of it, print it out onto paper. In some cases, it can also help print it out using a different font from the one you are accustomed to reading and writing in. This subtle change can be enough to help your brain pay more careful attention to detail, as opposed to ‘auto-correcting’ mistakes when you see them. It can be a good idea to create a second copy of your resume on which you change the font for this purpose. That way, you won’t forget to change the font back once your proofreading is complete or have to make changes to your original format.
When you are proofreading the paper copy, use a highlighter and a different colored pen to make notes or changes. A red pen works particularly well as it will stand out, ensuring that you’re less likely to miss out on an important edit or note when you begin editing your resume on the screen again.
4. Use a Proofreading Tool or Writing Service
If you have difficulty proofreading your resume or if English isn’t your first language, it can be useful to instead use an online proofreading tool or writing service to help you. There are many services and tools available online which can help check your resume for spelling and grammatical errors. Once you’ve written your resume, you can submit it for proofreading and objective feedback. Some online tools and services will also provide you with tips and suggestions on how to improve the content of your resume, as well as checking for mistakes.
5. Read It Out Loud
One of the most effective proofreading techniques is to read your work aloud. Although this may feel a little awkward and strange to begin it, reading your writing aloud will enable you to focus on what you’ve actually written and identify any mistakes and awkward phrases. Make a note of any phrases you stumble over as you’re reading and ensure that you correct them during your editing.
6. Read It from the Bottom, a Line at a Time
Another useful strategy is to re-read your resume, starting from the bottom of your document. Essentially, you are reading it backwards, one line at a time. This is a slightly time-consuming task, but it’s a great technique for helping you identify stray spelling mistakes which you or the spell check may have missed before. Reading your resume in this way will force you to slow down your reading and allow you to focus more carefully on individual words, as well as smaller details, such as punctuation, capitalization errors and spaces.
7. Re-Read It with a Different Focus Each Time
Reading your resume once is not enough. You are likely to miss some small details on a first or even second reading, so ensure that you schedule in enough time to do multiple readings. It can be useful to focus on different aspects each time you read through your resume. For example, you might want to read it once for spelling, another time focusing on grammar, a third time focusing on verb tenses and a fourth time checking the formatting.
When you check your resume for spelling, it’s especially important to check each individual word, looking out for homophones and contractions. Equally important is to ensure that you are using appropriate and consistent tenses throughout. When referring to your previous jobs, make sure that you write in the past tense, but anything related to your current job and duties should be written in the present tense.
Check thoroughly that all proper nouns have been capitalized and that you have used consistent date formats throughout your resume. Punctuation can be easily overlooked, so ensure that you check that there is only a single space between a period and the beginning of a new sentence. Check too that all sentences have a period at the end and try to avoid using exclamation marks.
8. Check Smaller Details
As you read through your resume, make a note of any recurring mistakes that you find. When you edit your resume, you can use the “Find” function on your computer to ensure that all those mistakes are corrected. Equally important is to check smaller words. Little words, such as ‘of’ and ‘if’ can sometimes get interchanged. It’s essential that you go back through your resume and double-check for these easily missed errors.
9. Ask a Friend to Check It for You
Having worked on your resume for a while and re-read it through several times, it can become challenging to catch any mistakes. In particular, the more familiar that you become with the document, the more likely your brain will start to ‘auto-correct’ any typos or missing punctuation you may have missed.
Asking a trusted friend or family member to read it over for you can be very helpful. Not only will they be able to spot any mistakes you may have missed, but they’ll also be able to provide you with useful and constructive feedback on how to improve the content and layout of your document.
10. Check the Formatting and Design
The design and formatting of your resume are extremely important. An overcrowded and messy resume will be hard to read. Instead, make sure that you allow for plenty of white space. Use headings to break up your resume into different sections, which are easily identifiable. It’s important that your name, address, phone number and email are easy to find and access. As such, ensure that these contact details appear towards the top of your resume.
Most importantly, your resume needs to be easy to read, so ensure that you use a conservative font that is legible. Preferably choose a font such as Times New Roman or Verdana and ensure that it is an appropriate size, ideally size 12.
When you’re applying for a job, your resume is your first chance to impress your potential employer. Give yourself the best possible chance of success by carefully and thoroughly proofreading it, to ensure it’s the best document it can be.
Ways to be Productive as a Student
It is sometimes quite difficult to do all your tasks and deliver to the maximum, especially if your academic agenda is overcrowded with lots of assignments to be delivered short term. Is this a situation that you are in? Then you have two solutions. The easiest way out is to hire a cheap essay writer online to handle the most challenging assignments. Thus, you can be sure that the task is done in time and will bring only the highest grade to your portfolio. In case you cannot afford it, then it is the right time to re-approach your performance. And the below tips will help you improve your productivity.
#1 – Plan Your Day
You have one or more classes; you know that. And your schedule is your responsibility. Therefore, it is highly recommended that you plan your classes well, so you won’t have to worry about it. But if you don’t get organized with your schedule, you’ll forget about some things that are crucial for your studies. It is crucial to be able to follow up on your classes, and you will know what you have to do in every class. Every time you check your timetable, think about the topics that you need to cover and the assignments that you have to do. When you have a class every week, you won’t forget what you have to accomplish.
You probably know how important it is to write things down when you’re trying to grasp something new. If you have a class every week, it will help you so much. You don’t have to write in a notebook, you can also use your smartphone or just plain white paper. But don’t let your phone or notebooks stay inside your bag when you go to class. You risk having them lost, destroyed, stolen. When you are trying to learn something new, it’s important to record every single detail. Don’t worry, if it’s difficult for you to write in your notes, it’s also not necessary. Your brain can store much more information than you think. Find a balance that works best for you.
Many may think that students are not “allowed” to sleep. Well, you can get really mad and crazy if you don’t sleep. That’s why you have to follow the schedule and sleep at the time you’re supposed to. If you can’t sleep well, take your medicine, read a book, or watch a movie. But don’t overdo it. It’s a big disadvantage to sleeping less, but if you sleep less, you’ll need to stay up late and will be able to study well.
If you skip classes or if you didn’t study enough in the morning, it’s very likely that you will forget some information. The solution is simple – take a look at your previous classes and make a note of the most important topics you need to know about. Do this a day before the test so you’ll know what you need to learn.
Nutrition is very important. The food you eat affects your work a lot. First of all, you’ll have an easier time concentrating if you’re well-fed. If you’re hungry, you can’t study. This is especially true when it comes to eating junk food. Therefore, make sure that you have healthy meals. You should avoid snacks with coffee, soda, and other unhealthy products. Don’t eat late at night; this will hardly be beneficial to your organism.
This is important for your studying, your work, and your life. We know that you want to do everything fast, but the important things have to come first. Take care of your personal life, your health, your relationships, your studies, and anything else that is important to you.
This may seem a bit obvious, but you will need friends to study. You may need someone to help you out when you’re in a crisis and you’re stuck in class with a book that’s hard for you to understand. Of course, your best friend may be your computer. But it is way better to have a friend to advise you in harsh times and with challenging assignments.
If you’re going to stay disciplined, it is important that you reward yourself for success. It’s not like going to the gym and taking care of your body to look good. The reward has to be something in your studies. The reward shouldn’t be expensive because you’ll have to study hard and get very little sleep. Try to stay on the right path, and you’ll be fine.
Top 6 Valuable Life Lessons We Can Learn from Casino Movies
Gambling has been around for thousands of years, and gaming and sports betting probably occurred even before we learned to write down all our bets. There are documented betting cases occurring in Ancient China, India & Egypt. Today all over the world, casino games and sports betting have become a billion-dollar industry that’s still growing with each passing day.
Movies are the mirror of society, and we can see the reflection. Most films were stories about life in a different era in the past. Today’s films more commonly revolve around real-life scenarios, often set in relatable locations with relatable characters and casino story has made a considerable impact in today’s cinema. Casino movies feel somewhat related due to their noticeable connection with our society.
Casino movies go through stories about heists, robberies, cons, cheating at poker, or how casinos work behind the scenes – but it also teaches us some valuable life lessons for all walks of life. Every profession has its pros and cons but learning new things is always an adventure worth taking! Let’s have a look at a few of the valuable lessons from Casino movies:-
Strategic gambling is all about understanding your opponent’s mindset, identifying common personality traits of players that are likely to have a particular characteristic or play a certain way, and then trying to outwit them by doing the opposite. It surely can make you a better person on paper, but does it work in real life? Well…
The casino movie 21, based on the true story of six MIT students who used their knowledge of probability and card counting techniques to win hundreds of thousands of dollars at blackjack over several months in the early 2000s, leaves us with some interesting ideas on this subject. If you’re unaware, card counting is based on some cards being statistically more likely to be dealt than others. It means that if you know which cards have been dealt and keep track of them as the game progresses, you’re able to predict what’s left in the deck and take advantage accordingly.
The art of card counting isn’t easy – and you’ll need loads of willpower and determination to succeed – but it can make you a better person by improving your ability to make quick risk assessments. If nothing else, this gives us an important reminder: we can choose how we want to treat others, even when faced with adversity!
Casino movies like 21 remind us that anything worth doing takes hard work, patience, perseverance, composure under pressure, and enough belief in ourselves that we don’t quit before achieving success (no matter how long it takes).
You Don’t Always Need to Be the Best.
The casino movie 21 may teach a valuable lesson about learning from our mistakes and not taking people for granted. It also reminds us that we don’t always have to be the best at something to get what we want. Sometimes the only way to “win” is by making peace that we cannot win every war. If you’ve seen this film, then you’ll know what I’m talking about. When Ben Campbell (played by Jim Sturgess) was competing in Blackjack tables against some of his friends and former classmates, he was constantly trying to prove himself by beating them – but doing so meant that he wasn’t focused on his performance.
The movie teaches us that it’s important to be honest when we make mistakes. It also reminds us that if we always insist on being the best at everything, then there will be situations where we will truly fail. Sometimes, life is all about making the best of what you have and accepting that you cannot always win!
The casino movie 21 shows us how money doesn’t necessarily bring happiness, but the film Maverick reminds us why this trend exists in the first place… James Garner plays poker expert Brett Maverick, well-known for never showing his cards while playing cards. It makes him unbeatable by conventional means, but one day he meets up with another poker player who has managed to figure out Maverick’s game by using psychology. This opponent manages to win every game against Maverick, but what he doesn’t know is that Maverick isn’t losing… he’s waiting for the right moment to strike!
As we all know, life is a little like a casino game sometimes: there will be times when we’re on top and times when we’re further down the line. However, if we keep coming back and playing this unique hand called “life” better than our competition time after time again, then eventually, we’ll make it to the showdown with success!
Casino movies like Maverick remind us that money can bring happiness in some ways (for example, when we use the money to bring others happiness), but there are also times when it fails to make us truly happy. As Maverick proved in this casino movie, life is all about waiting for the opportunity to strike at just the right moment!
It reminds us that working smart can sometimes get you further than working hard. We must see every situation as an opportunity to learn something new and take our skills up a notch. To do this, however, we need to be open-minded enough to give ourselves the chance to learn from our mistakes so that we can avoid making them again next time. If you’ve seen the film, then you’ll agree with me when I say that this is what led Ben to success in his quest for Blackjack supremacy.
It reminds us that sometimes the best way to learn from our mistakes is by staying humble and using them as a learning tool instead of feeling ashamed or embarrassed about who we are as people. The truth is, there’s something to be learned from every mistake we make – all we have to do is be brave enough to take responsibility, stay focused on the task at hand, and always pay attention to the lessons that life has for us!
As Maverick proved in the casino movie Maverick, we must know when it’s time to play smarter rather than harder – especially if you’re playing against someone who has had more practice than you. It becomes especially true in the game of life because if we keep trying to play something that doesn’t suit us just because it seems straightforward, all we’re doing is hurting ourselves instead of helping the situation. We must remember that casino movies are unlikely to change our lives completely – but they do have a lot to teach us about how money really can’t buy happiness and why it’s so important for us to work smart!
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